Mind or Heart
I feel like I literally placed my heart
on a cutting board on the kitchen table and
sliced it open and I watched in amazement
of how much blood collected on the surface
and inside my chamber walls I saw
everything I’ve ever cared deeply
about and I kept chopping, every corner,
wiping away the grim and dust
and seams stitched with good
intentions and I realized I have never
left such a hole in my chest before
and I’ve never felt so free from
the constraints of almost loves
as I laid down every ounce of
soul I contained in my heart
and I offered it all to him,
stripped naked with vulnerability
and the fear of rejection lingering
behind my closed, tearful eyes
begging to be accepted, taken
into his arms and wrapped
in the love I offered returned
and multiplied underneath
the warmth of his own heart.
Prepped and prepared, I wait
to find out the location he placed
me in his memory, mind or heart.
The following is a response to
Mind or Heart by lilysofthefield
I remember frantically cleaning
out cupboards and drawers
filled with old romances
and older tragedies, now long expired
until they were bare
and I looked into my chest
and saw a tattered heart
I tore the pieces out
that I had stitched together
after it broke over and over
and my heart bled
so much that it stopped
and then you came in
you held me in your arms
and you began to fill
the empty spaces and voids
with your love
and you resuscitated me back
you put me into your heart
for safe keeping
as you whispered to me
that I’d always have a home
so long as you were there
and now I look around
all the old space once empty
now brimming with love
One of the most terrible losses man suffers in his lifetime is not noticed by most people, much less mourned. Which is astonishing because what we lose is in many ways one of the essential qualities that sets us apart from other creatures.
I’m talking about the loss of the sense of wonder that is such an integral part of our world when we are children. However as we grow older, that sense of wonder shrinks from cosmic to microscopic by the time we are adults. Kids say “Wow!” all the time. Opening their mouths fully, their eyes light up with genuine awe and glee. The word emanates not so much from a voice box as from an astonished soul that has once again been shown that their world is full of amazing unexpected things.
When was the last time you let fly a loud, truly heartfelt “WOW”?
Not recently, I bet. Because generally speaking wonder belongs to kids, with the rare exception of falling madly in love with another person, which invariably leads to a rebirth of wonder. As adults, we are not supposed to say or feel Wow, or wonder, or even true surprise because those things make us sound goofy, ingenuous, and childish. How can you run the world if you are in constant awe of it?
Of course there are exceptions. One need only look at the astounding success of Harry Potter, The Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, and the novels of Neil Gaiman (the list is much longer, thank god), to see that people really are hungry for wonder. Still, most adults wouldn’t fess up to that hunger because they don’t want to admit how gorgeous it feels to sit transfixed in a movie theater or reading chair, thoroughly absorbed in a world ten times more interesting and vibrant than their own. The human heart has a long memory though and remembers what it was like to live through days when it was constantly surprised or enthralled by the world around it. Unfortunately we have been taught control, control, control all our lives by parents, society, and our education. If you can’t control something, then get rid of it or get out of it or get away from it.
Yet we know that both the heart and the imagination really are most alive when they are *not* in control of things, flying through the air without a safety net below to catch them. To live immersed in wonder means both the unknown and the thrilling surround you, as in a great love affair.
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