i want to pack up my things and move into the wilderness — a vast land in the mountains covered with a blanket of snow. where all you can hear is a stream and the gentle cooing of birds. i’d take some books, a couple of empty journals and my canon ae-1 with 50 rolls of film. maybe the genius in my head will ink itself on those empty pages. i want to see if i could survive on my own. i’d live in a cabin with nothing but bare necessities like food, a fire, warm clothes and alcohol. the only comfort being my misery and the company of my fragile mind. i will teach myself the art of forgiveness, how to properly meditate and free myself from chaos — so i can reach stillness within my heart and soul. maybe i will find the courage to fight my inner demons and come to terms with the things i’ve done, the things that have happened to me and the people i’ve lost. i still grieve and mourn for everything. i want to shed the layers of my past — i want to be brand new